i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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