I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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