I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
