i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
