he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's Friday. Sex?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
