Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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