Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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