It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
