I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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