This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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