I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize