You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
