WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
we should paint friendship bongs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
