During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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