If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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