he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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