If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
