whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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