Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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