Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
