moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
