I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
