Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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