Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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