Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
