mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
