Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
