btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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