Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
