I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
