Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
