Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize