it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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