bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
