just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize