im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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