I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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