put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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