the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
