Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
