soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
