she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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