love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
