Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
