its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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