did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
