there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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