It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I sprained my soul last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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