it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
