Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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