you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
