i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
