Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
