absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
