yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
