I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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