She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
