I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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