Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
