i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
