We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
