I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
